The problem with leaving a blog unattended for such long periods of time is that so much journey takes place in that time, that the regular reader is left with pieces missing from the story.
I know it would be impossible for me to relate everything that has happened in my life since last I typed input into these pages, and I feel a pang of regret about it, but there it is. I’ve lived, I have learned, I have grown… I have gained insights into myself and what makes me tock…yes, I definitely tock whereas others tick, and I am happy with that. I know I am a missfit and I embrace that.
I no longer have the urban farm, I no longer grow things in the garden and the chickens I kept have gone as well. I now have a pet guinea pig named Podric. I am studying for a diploma in counselling and my life feels full and I am contented.
I no longer define myself as a part of a couple. I am single, but far from alone and rarely lonely.
I have found connectedness in a network of friends and family and fellow students who all help in their own ways to tether me, albeit loosely to the world of sanity. I have found the medication that helps me to keep my thoughts in order and slow enough that I can follow a thought to its conclusion. That was such a novel concept to me when it first occurred and remains one of the best things which has happened to me in recent times. I am still in awe of it, and still terrified that it might suddenly be lost again!
I am content. I sometimes feel serene. I have discovered that Mania need not be my default state and I am getting used to that…slowly.
I will try and write more often in my blog. I will try and give you my pieces.